The Making Of "CGA Hell"
A 13-minute video of the great On Target Game
Only on PCs!

Hi!  I'm Adam Tyner, editor of "On Target Power," the crappy magazine that
gives you insight into our hellish little world.  Right now, we're going 
to talk to one of the programmers of the game we hope'll be our new hit,
"CGA Hell."

Let's meet Don Keith Kahng.  He did some of the stunning graphics in
"CGA Hell," as well as most of the gameplay.  Don Keith Kahng is one of the
best programmers in the COUNTRY!

ME: Hey Don!  Tell us about the design of "CGA Hell."
DON: Twenty-five other programmers and I toiled for hours on Silicon-Graphics
     workstations creating the characters, backgrounds, and monsters.
ME: Aren't those the MILLION-dollar computers used for the dinosaur effects
    in "Jurassic Park"?
DON: I think so.  We here at On Target Programming are opposed to any non-G
     rated movie.  It's too violent.
ME: I agree.  How did the graphics turn out, Don?
DON: Well, the 256-color high-res SVGA graphics were fabulous.  But there
     was a power failure 20 minutes before the final version was due.  So
     we slapped this 4-color game together and pretended like it was
     supposed to be this way.
ME: That's very interesting.  Tell us about the story behind "CGA Hell."
DON: Sure!  I'm all for shameless self-promotion.  You play Mister Spiff...
ME: Isn't that the hero in the great Mister Spiff games?
DON: It sure is.  Anyway, you are doomed to CGA Hell because you didn't pay
     a traffic ticket.
ME: NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!  I'm sorry, I left it in my glove box and--
DON: HA!  No silly, I mean the character you play in the game!
ME:  Umm...yeah.  I know.  Jus' kidding.  Heh-heh...........
DON: I...uh...CGA Hell is sort of like the hell depicted in most religions,
     but CGA Hell is only for EVIL video game characters.
ME: Is this the right forum for a religious discussion?
DON: If it'll hamper sales, then "no."
ME: Anyway, what is CGA Hell like?
DON: It's sort of like real life, only more dangerous.  Oh, and there are
     only four colors.
ME: This must have taken a long time to make, with 4 mind-boggling colors.
    You don't have to buy a special adapter to play it either, like our
    competitor (rhymes with "mega," as in "mega cool", "mega power").
DON: You can even play it on a 286, if you don't mind tons of slowdown.
ME: How many action-packed levels are there?
DON: One for each color.  The original version had 256 levels, but we only
     had time for four when everything got erased.
ME: What are some of the enemies in "CGA Hell"?
DON: You must fight chompers (take it from the chomper, the chomper yeah
     that's me.  Exercise your chompers gotta chew, chew, chew!  Exercise
     your chompers with some good hard food!), zombies trapped between 
     color TV and black and white TV, ghosts, and CGAflizzums.  The
     deadliest enemy is the dreaded CGA MONITOR!
ME: Excuse me?
DON: See, the first color monitors only had 4 colors and were called CGA.
     The 4 colors these monitors had are the same 4 in the game.
ME: Incredible!
DON:  Want a CGA monitor?
ME: No, that's okay--
DON: Banana, then?
ME: No, I'm fine, really--
DON: Go on, have a banana.
ME: Don, you're scaring me.  Do you have any advice for gamers?
DON: Yes; play it loud!
